Stop to Smell the Roses

 

It seems as Advent begins so does the time of busyness. We find ourselves decorating, shopping, seeing special movies or plays and enjoying the company of friends and family.

These things are all fun and add to the season. But they can also overwhelm us.  I suggest taking a moment every once in a while to Stop to Smell the Roses.  For you that may be; a long soak in the tub, a hot cup of tea, a moment sitting in the backyard, listening to some wonderful music or perhaps just that…smelling the roses. Whatever it is I encourage you to stop, reflect on the meaning of the season for you and breathe.

 

Children Learn through Block Building

Wooden unit blocks have been around for decades and continue to be one of the best toys available to promote learning.  They are open-ended materials that stimulate the imagination and set the stage for discovery and invention. One child may want to create a zoo for the animals while another wants to create an airport.  Then there is the fun of just building and building the blocks as high as they can go  without falling over.

Blocks are used by babies, toddlers, preschoolers and even elementary school children.  Babies and toddlers enjoy touching and picking them up.  As muscle control develops, two and three-year-olds enjoy combining blocks, lining them up and stacking them.  Older three and four-year-olds begin to balance and fit pieces together.  Before you know it they are building towers, castles and enclosures.  By four and five years of age patterns develop, as well as very advanced structures including cities and landscapes.

In the Early Childhood setting we want to focus on the numerous areas of growth which include; social/emotional, physical, intellectual and creative development.  Blocks help children learn in each of these areas:

Socially/Emotionally:

Blocks encourage children to work together, negotiate and compromise. Emotionally children can become frustrated when blocks fall down  or when friends disagree on how to build a structure. When this occurs, children are given the opportunity to use their verbal skills in order to express themselves and solve problems.     

Physically:

Block building strengthens muscles throughout the body by reaching for, picking up and stacking.  Eye-hand coordination is also developed as children start to figure out which block will fit where. 

Intellectually:

Children begin to develop vocabulary as they learn to describe different sizes and shapes.  Math comes into play as the children group, add, subtract and eventually multiply with blocks. The concept of balance, stability and gravity begin to be understood.

Creatively:

Blocks are used by children to create their own designs as well as beginning to create what they see in the world around them.  Animals, people, trees, pebbles and variety of other objects can be added to the block area to promote creativity.

It is always best to ask a child to tell you about their block building instead of asking them what they made.  This allows for an open-ended conversation with the children and does not put more value on only structures that represent something.

Adults have even been known to enjoy working with good old fashion wooden unit blocks! 



Time Out for Children and Parents

When I first heard the words, "Time Out" I thought of an unhappy child, sitting in a corner on a chair screaming because they had gotten into trouble of some sort.  I felt sad for the child and thought perhaps there was a better way of handling the situation.  If only a conversation could be had and all would be fine.  Many times that is all that is needed.

However, there are those times when conversations can't be had until everyone involved is calm and ready to listen to one another.  That may even include the adult in the situation.  I know myself, I have felt the need for a time out.  Time to take a deep breath, calm myself down and regroup.  Whether it is a child or an adult, a time out can be a productive way to defuse the situation in order to be able to come to a better understanding together of what is expected and what will be allowed.

Behavior is generally the reason a time out is used.  Many factors are involved, most importantly the age of the child and their developmental ability.  Other factors can be tiredness, illness and emotions. Just knowing what is developmentally appropriate behavior for a certain age can help when making a decision on what to ignore and what to give more attention to.  Many times by simply meeting a  need the problem can be solved.

To give an example:

You and your child have just gotten home from running errands and they are whining and pulling at your leg.  You ask them to stop, but they continue.  You ask them why they are whining but they can't tell you.  Perhaps ask yourself if the past few hours of busyness has worn the two of you out?  By taking five minutes of your undivided time to sit together reading a few books could give you both the much needed time together to  relax and  regroup.  Or, you have been in the car too long and chasing each other around the table may be all that is needed to restore everyone's good nature.   

There are the times when all the tricks have been used and nothing seems to work.  The toys are flying and the screaming continues.  Time out may just be what is needed. The next step is to understand what a time out is, what ages it is beneficial for and how to go about it.

What is Time Out? 

It is a way to correct behavior by placing a misbehaving child (or frustrated adult) in a quiet place for a few minutes in order to calm down and then talk about the situation.  Time out is NOT punishment, it is DISCIPLINE.  Discipline is used to help children learn to identify and take responsibility for their own behavior.

Using Time Out 

Before using time out, discuss with the child or children before you need to use it, what time out is and when it will be used.  For example you may say, "The next time you argue about the toys and I give you a warning to stop and you don't pay attention you both will have a time out.  This means you will each go to your room for quiet time for five minutes.  I will let you know when the five minutes are up and then you can try playing together again."

Guidelines

Time out is appropriate for children ages three through twelve years of age and generally one minute for each year the child is works best.  They should know where their time out space is ahead of time and it should be a safe (physically and emotionally) space.  Some children do well by spending a little time alone in their room playing while other children may be destructive in their room and need a more defined space like a chair. No matter the place, it should never be scary or used to threaten or humiliate a child.

Give a first warning and if the behavior or activity does not subside call time out in a calm voice.  If the child resists going ask them if they want to go on their own to their time out area or do they need your help.  If they come out before time out is up just calmly send them back or take them back.  A timer can be helpful.

Once the time out is over, decide whether a conversation is needed to reconfirm expectations.  Many times it is best not to make a big deal out of the situation and allow the children to resume their activities.     

Make sure you are consistent with your expectations so the child is not confused and frustrated, otherwise everyone will be upset and progress will not be made.  Following through on consequences provides reassuring boundaries for children and helps them learn that our actions in life have natural consequences.  The more consistent you are with younger children the easier it will be to discipline older children. 

If you want to know more about your two through fourteen year old developmentally, I recommend the series by:  Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D., & Frances L. Ilg, M.D. Published by Dell Publishing

A few titles are:

Your Two-Year-Old Terrible or Tender

Your Three-Year-Old Friend or Enemy

Your Four-Year-Old Wild and Wonderful

Your Five-Year-Old Sunny and Serene  

Dependency

 I just recently took a fall and severely sprained my ankle and broke my lower fibula.  The experience has given me the opportunity to reflect on dependency.  I have never had to depend on using crutches, a walker or a wheelchair to get around.  I have certainly learned in a very short time how much I appreciate the human body and independence! I quickly realized I could not move as fast as I usually do nor could I carry my coffee cup to my desk by myself.  A major part of my independence has been curtailed!  The challenge to humble myself and ask for help has now become a daily need.

In my reflecting, I found myself thinking about young children and how they need to depend on others for the vast majority of their needs.  Certainly from the most basic - like food and shelter, but also just to be able to bathe, have clean clothes and to the simplest - like getting to a play date to enjoy friends. 

Trust!  That is what we need to have in order to depend on others and ask for help.  I was on a weekend retreat when I had my accident and fortunately I was with a very dear friend who jumped into action.  She got me ice, found a nurse who was also on the retreat to look at my injury, and she brought my dinner to the room and got me safely home the next day.  Family, friends and co-workers jumped into action by helping me get me to the doctor, cover work duties, and fix me meals and even shower!

Whether we are 58 or three-years-old we need people, valued people we can trust and count on. These people don't just magically appear when needed.  Relationships need time to develop, to be nurtured and strengthened.  Strengthened to the point to where, when in a situation like mine, even if we don't want to have to depend on them we know in our hearts we CAN!

Relationships begin from the time we are held in our parents’ arms.  They continue to grow as we take the risk to engage with others.  Preschool can be a first experience in learning how to develop these relationships.  Relationships, not just for the moment but perhaps for a lifetime.

I ask you to watch your child, see how much they have to trust and depend on others.  Then ask yourself who can you trust and depend on, who can trust and depend on you?

Jump into Spring!

                                         

In one of our classrooms the children included in their spring time activities planting and learning about how seeds grow.  Each child had the opportunity to feel the rich soil in their hands and pick out several sunflower seeds to plant.  The children discussed how the seeds need the nutrients in the soil, water to drink and sun light to grow.  They also learned about how the roots grow down to hold the plant firmly in the ground and to bring the water up to the plant.  As some of the seeds started to sprout they were able to see the tiny green stem poke out of the soil and reach for the sun.  Each day spray bottles were used to water the seeds. As always some seeds grow faster than others and  soon they will go home and hopefully will be planted so they can continue to grow into healthy sunflowers. 

One of the books the children heard was, The Sunflower House by Eve Bunting.  In the story a family grows sunflowers in a large circle in order to create a sunflower house.  Once the flowers grow tall summer fun is had by the neighborhood children in their magical outdoor home grown for fun and adventure.  As the the summer comes to an end the sunflowers begin to die but the children learn how to take the seeds from the center of the flowers to save for the next spring.

Out on the play yard colorful artifical flowers along with shovels, hoes, racks, watering cans and wheel barrows were used to provide for dramatic play.  The children planted their "flowers" all over the yard, watered them and were very proud of there beautiful gardens.

Spring is also a time of baby chicks, ducks and bunnies.  Funny ducks and chicks were made by cutting, gluing and drawing.  Bunnies were decorated with colored cottonballs and wiggly eyes.  Finger painting handprint flowers were placed on top of the stems and leaves the children glued together.  A special little chick was created by gluing a large yellow pom-pom in a broken egg shell and adding wiggly eyes. 

Make your yard an outdoor family learning environment
by planting a flower garden, a vegetable garden or an herb garden.  Don't forget to get dirty and have fun spraying each other with the hose.

Enjoy and Happy Spring!